As I continue to delve into The Five Love Languages, I am happy to jump to the love language that has been consistently strong my entire life (and it’s now my strongest), Words Of Affirmation. While this one has sometimes taken a backseat to others, there is nothing that fills my emotional cup more quickly than hearing or reading words that acknowledge and affirm who I am and what I have accomplished. I know that some say that words can be cheap, but if presented sincerely, there is truly nothing better for me! In fact, when I am acknowledged, I suddenly want to jump in and do even more for that person.
There were men (especially) who took advantage of this love language of mine in my past. I never expected gifts nor expected quality time with my significant other, but I let it be known that telling me regularly just how much I meant to them and how much they loved me would ensure my happiness. I was never one who believed in playing “lover’s games.” I was always upfront with these men in my life. And because I was so open with them (which I advocate in any healthy relationship), they knew that if they withheld those “words of affirmation,” it would cripple me. And I admit that is exactly what happened.
Having been a single person for many years now with no man in my life, I am grateful for the fact that I am surrounded by such amazing people who regularly remind me of how amazing and wonderful I am. In addition to this fact, over the past year or so, I have begun to recognize that I can also fill up that emotional cup by telling myself how wonderful I am. Yeah, that may go opposite what some of us were taught, but I can now look in the mirror and say, “You are amazing,” and “Ruth, I am proud of you,” and it doesn’t feel strange!
I am grateful to my current employers because they have so consistently blown me away with their sincere acknowledgment of my skills and who I am as a person. In addition to this, I can turn to the Bible at any time and know precisely what God thinks concerning me, and that in it of itself truly enraptures me.
As a side note, as a younger person, I was taught that accepting words of affirmation for service in the church meant that I would not be receiving crowns in heaven. I believed what I was taught and worked hard not to enjoy receiving compliments and such. I had to learn to accept them graciously, but secretly, I loved them! It was years before I broke the stigma and realized that being acknowledged on earth did not mean I wouldn’t receive rewards in heaven. I’m so grateful for that fact!!
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wonderful post