REGRET

That very word can cause stress, depression, fear, anxiety, worry, sadness, and a whole host of other feelings and emotions. Regret is one of those things with which most of us struggle consistently throughout our lives. We are inundated with various expectations from a very young age, and if we don’t meet those expectations, we can experience regret. Or is we meant to do something or say something and we didn’t, again, regret can come to haunt us.

As I was thinking about this prompt, I decided to look up the definition of this word, and I believe Google’s definition has it right on the money.

Regret: “feel sad, repentant, or disappointed over (something that has happened or been done, especially a loss or missed opportunity)”

But I would go a step further. I believe that regret can be over something that didn’t happen or didn’t get done. In fact, I would submit to you that in many cases, that may be even more difficult to move past than if something was done or had happened.

In my life, I have experienced both kinds of regret. I decide to do something. I do it, and then I realize it wasn’t a good decision, or I “should have known better.” It could be something I did as a child, but once I was an adult, I realized that was the wrong thing to do.

However, I have more often than not failed to do something and later regretted it. In fact, I was just thinking here of a moment at EPCOT center years ago when I was asked to come to dance with one of the dancers in the Marrakesh section, and I chose not to do it! Do you know that later I wish I had because I felt like I missed out on a fun experience, but I let my pride get in the way? I didn’t want to look like a fool! I regretted my decision not to join in the fun.

I also know how many times I regretted moving back in with my parents. I believed I had completely messed up my life and that of my daughter by leaving my home in Texas and giving up the life we had built there. I listened to everyone else around me who said, “Why are you living with your parents? Don’t you think you should live on your own?” I regretted my decision to get married, buy a home, pursue a music degree, start a blog, become a journalist, and the list goes on.

Thankfully, I have broken free of a life of regrets. And that could easily encompass an entire series of blog posts.

But let me give you one technique I have implemented for years that assisted me in my quest to live a life where I didn’t regret the fact that I left something unsaid.

For most of my life, I adopted a critical spirit. I tended to point out everything that was wrong or what needed to be improved without ever taking a moment to encourage someone or tell them what they did right. I didn’t like that about my modus operandi, so I decided to change that.

I determined that right then and there (this was years ago), I would never miss an opportunity to tell someone something positive no matter what. This means that if I had the thought, I acted on it immediately. I knew that if I waited, I would potentially forget, and life would get in the way. This meant that if I were in bed, and I remembered that I hadn’t told someone how much their kind words meant or how good their movie was or how nice they looked, I got out of bed and sent them the message. This has happened on several occasions for the past few years, and I tell you, it has been a game-changer! People tend to appreciate that I took the time to acknowledge them, but it helps me redeem the time and live a life of no regrets in this area. If I were never to see that person again, I could rest in the fact that the last message they had from me was positive and encouraging.

What do you do to ensure that you do not live a life with regret? I am so grateful that God is forgiving when I make a mistake and helps me work things out. Sure, I still have that occasional thought that wants to try to pull me down, but I no longer live a life fraught with regret, and I hope you are the same way!

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