Please read my disclosure policy to understand how I work with companies and individuals. Linking to a specific site does not imply endorsement of all of their services or content.
In this day and age, unfortunately, statistics show us that divorce is possibly more common than marriages. All too often, there is a myriad of factors that need to be resolved when faced with an unresolvable situation resulting in a dissolution of marriage.
While you may not be able to avoid a divorce, there are steps you can take to ensure an amicable divorce. In addition to finding a good divorce lawyer Huntsville AL, it is a good idea to keep some of the following ideas in mind.
If all possible, don’t go to court.
After you find that dynamic divorce attorney, consider mediation and other ways of resolving the situation. Going to court only racks up big bills and creates more complicated situations from which relationships and finances may never recover. Thankfully, our legal system provides many options, and it is worthwhile examining all your options in great detail.
Do not make the assumption that the divorce process will be easy.
Understand that as much as you wish to believe that there will be no drama or emotions involved, this is still the ending of a relationship that probably really meant something to you at one point. It can be just as painful as the death of a spouse in some areas. Don’t go into this process with the expectation that this divorce will be pain-free.
Don’t blame anyone throughout the process.
If you truly want an amicable divorce, avoid blaming others at all costs. Blame is a form of attack, and using this tactic will only put your spouse on the defensive. Punching bags will come out, and before you know it, you may have a major battle on your hands. Keep those emotions in check, and if your spouse or his/her family members start blaming you, choose not to reply in the same manner. Make the decision to take the high road.
Take care of your physical needs.
Don’t use this divorce as an opportunity to go out and party. Don’t binge on sweets, alcohol, or anything else in excess. Be sure you get enough sleep. Emotional eating and drinking may seem like a good idea at the time, but if you end your marriage twenty pounds overweight and sleep-deprived, you may find that you fall into depression following your divorce. While you might give yourself a calming glass of wine and possibly a small slice of cheesecake, just don’t make a habit of that.
Gratitude, Gratitude, Gratitude!
If you have not made a habit of living your life with an “attitude of gratitude,” this is an excellent opportunity to begin this life-altering habit! It’s easy to get bogged down in a mood of negativity because of all the emotions and situations you are facing because of your divorce. But as they say, “Change your perspective, change your life.” Find at least three things each day for which to be grateful.
Don’t expect you and your spouse to be instant friends.
Going from being married to being friends is a dance that not everyone can learn. Moreover, it is something that doesn’t happen overnight. Give you and your spouse time and be patient. Healing needs to happen, and it does take time. Respect each other, and don’t shut down communication. See what happens.