Who Am I? How My Daughter Taught Me to Let Go and Live Again
by Megan Cyrulewski
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BLURB:
Megan Cyrulewski is an ordinary person who has faced extraordinary challenges and now wants to inspire people and show them that hope gives them the power to survive anything. Who Am I? is about her journey into postpartum depression, anxiety disorder, panic attacks, visits to the psych ward, divorce, domestic violence, law school and her courageous struggle to survive with her sanity intact – and how a beautiful little girl emerged from all this chaos.
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Excerpt:
On January 18, 2012, we all convened in the courthouse for the Motion for Parenting Time hearing. My dad and I arrived with my attorney, but Tyler loved an audience so he brought his dad, step-mom, and his new on-again off-again girlfriend, Heather. Tyler walked in with his posse in tow, cocky as hell. It took all of two minutes for the judge to knock him off his feet.
The Judge addressed our respective attorneys. “Why are we here?”
“Your honor,” Tyler’s attorney began, “my client has clearly been denied his parenti—”
The Judge didn’t even let him finish. “How?” She turned to my attorney. “Don?”
“Your honor, as you can see in the divorce decree, there was supposed to be a review when the minor child turned twelve-months-old. The Defendant has ignored that review.”
“I—if I may, your honor,” Tyler’s attorney sputtered.
“I see the review in the decree. It’s here in black and white,” she told Tyler’s attorney. “What is the problem? Why didn’t you understand the review? Your client signed the divorce decree.”
Tyler’s attorney tried again. “But your honor—”
The judge cut him off. “There is to be a review conducted by the Friend of the Court referee assigned to the parties. Until then, the Defendant will continue his parenting time schedule as agreed upon in the divorce decree. Dismissed.”
And that was it. After eight police reports and numerous harassing text messages, phone calls, and e-mails, we won. As Don and Tyler’s attorney went to speak with the clerk to file the necessary paperwork, Don told us to wait for him outside the courtroom.
As we exited the courtroom, the hallway was so packed with people that my dad and I were only able to find enough space to lean against the wall. We were talking about the court proceedings when we looked up at saw Tyler and his new girlfriend standing right across from us.
“Why do you lie about everything?” Tyler screamed.
Heather walked up to me and stood about an inch from my face. “As a mother myself, you should be happy that Tyler is the father of your child.”
My jaw dropped. “I’m sorry but I don’t know you.”
She smirked. “Well you’re going to get to know me, bitch.”
Tyler made a big show of pulling her from me like I was going to punch her or something. By this time, everyone in the hallway was watching us. We were pure entertainment.
Heather continued her rant. “Two times in the psych ward, Megan? What a great mother you are.”
“Where is your mom, the real mother of our child?” Tyler screamed. “She’s the one who takes care of Madelyne.”
My dad and I tried to move away from Tyler and Heather but they followed us.
“Awww…” Heather mocked. “Do you have to take a Xanax because of your anxiety?”
“Go take your Xanax and sleeping pills, you drug addict,” Tyler shouted.
Finally, Don emerged from the courtroom and pulled us into a quiet corridor. He explained that I needed to call our referee to set-up a meeting to discuss a visitation schedule. I told Don about the verbal assault by Tyler and Heather. Don said he would call Tyler’s attorney to let him know that Heather would not be allowed in my house.
Upon leaving the courthouse, Heather screamed, “See you on Sunday, Megan.”
I turned toward her and said calmly, “I don’t know you, but you are not welcome in my home.”
That night, Tyler sent me multiple texts attacking my mothering skills, my supposed drug addictions, how he was going to fight for joint custody of Madelyne, how Heather would be accompanying him for his visitations, and a barrage of other insults:
“Get a life already”
“Don’t you have something better to do than wasting your parents’ money?”
“Go take your pills and relax, oh yeah, then your parents would have to watch our daughter. Oh yeah, they already do.”
“Go talk to your friends. Oh yeah, you don’t have any because of how crazy you are.”
“Interesting to know you’ve been to the hospital a couple of times. You really need to get it together.”
“Better go call your lawyer and make up some more stuff about me.”
“Don’t be mad at your sorry life.”
“I am sure living with Mom and Dad the rest of your life will be fun.”
“When you get a job, then you can pay me child support. Fun.”
I finally had to turn my phone off at midnight.
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AUTHOR Bio and Links:
Megan Cyrulewski has been writing short stories ever since she was ten-years-old. Eventually she settled into a career in the non-profit sector and then went back to school to get her law degree. While she was in school, she documented her divorce and child custody battle in her memoir, Who Am I?, which was published in 2014. Megan lives in Michigan with her 3-year-old daughter who loves to dance, run, read, and snuggle time with Mommy. Megan also enjoys her volunteer work with Troy Youth Assistance as the Fundraising Chair on the Board of Directors.
http://www.megancyrulewski.com/blog
https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/8412564.Megan_Cyrulewski
How to Avoid the Rejection Blues
(guest post by the author)
I was nineteen when I wrote my first book. It was during a summer break from college. I Just started typing one day and a couple of weeks later, I banged out a book. I thought it was good. My mom thought it was good. But 40+ publishing houses and literary agents didn’t like it. That’s a lot of rejection. Only one literary agent seemed interested, however, she was a scammer and wanted $3,000 up front.
That was in 1997. Today, the literary world is much different. There are more than the top 5 publishing houses. You don’t need a New York City literary agent who will take anywhere from 15-20% of your book sales. Thanks to small publishers such as Black Opal Books (my publisher) or Createspace, your dreams of becoming an author can come true.
When I wrote my memoir, it started out as cathartic. When I finished, however, I knew that I wanted it published. So, I started sending queries to agents. Rejection after rejection after rejection and so on landed in my e-mail box. Black Opal Books was the last publisher I sent my manuscript and to my delight, they offered me a contract. I got lucky.
Throughout this process, I have met some extremely talented authors. Sometimes, I get mad when I read one of their books because I can’t believe they got rejection letters! Unfortunately in today’s society, the big publishing houses really want books by established authors or celebrities. If a rejected Bachelorette or a D-list actor can get a book deal, and you can’t, don’t feel bad. I mean, Kim Kardashian got a book deal for her coffee table book, “Selfies.” A whole book of nothing but pictures of Kim Kardashian. Give me a self-published author any day over that book.
So the next time you write a book and give the agents or publishing houses another try, don’t feel bad about getting rejection letters. Get creative with them! John Grisham wallpapered his bathroom walls with rejection letters for “A Time to Kill.” How stupid do you think those agents feel now?
Megan will be awarding a $50 Amazon gift card to a randomly drawn winner via rafflecopter during the tour, and a $25 Amazon gift card to a randomly drawn host.
Please follow the entire tour and comment; the more you comment, the better your chances of winning. The tour dates can be found here:
http://goddessfishpromotions.blogspot.com/2014/11/vbt-who-am-i-how-my-daughter-taught-me.html
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5 Comments
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I liked the excerpt best. This book sounds like such an interesting and intriguing read. I will definitely be adding this book to my “to-read” list.
Ally Swanson recently posted…Need You Now by Mika Jolie
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Who am i sounds like a very compelling story. I would be interested in reading megans story. Thank you
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Great advice, and such an intense excerpt!
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interesting story
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Thanks for hosting!
