The Vixen Manual: How to Find, Seduce, & Keep the Man You Want by Karrine Steffans
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Well, I never dreamed I would be giving this book a 5 star rating, but it deserves every bit of that and more.  Keep reading, and I think you will understand why.

I won this book on a giveaway, and when it came, I was rather turned off by the picture.  It didn’t look like my kind  of book.  I set it on the shelf and wasn’t  even sure if I would ever read it.

I needed a book to read since I finished my last book so quickly.  So I picked this book up, thinking, “Well, I sure  won’t like  this book.  I’ll be able to file it away in no time.”

Imagine my shock when I actually began to like it.  It was easy reading, but it had real substance.  I still wasn’t sure I’d hold onto it when I was done.  I figured I might give it away.

Suddenly, I was truly drawn to it.  I could barely put it down.  I found myself so engaged in reading it that I dared to read it during my sub jobs this past week. I made sure to conceal the cover picture and a few of the drawings, but this was practical, good advice for women.  Thankfully the chapters were short enough that I could stop very easily if I needed to.

Now, I will put a warning–this book has some adult language.  It also describes some sex scenes that would not be appropriate for everyone.  If you are easily offended, I would not recommend reading this book.  But I will say that she only devoted one chapter to sex.  I expected more, and it is clear that she knows her readers did as well.

It is amazing how God used this book in my life.  Yes, He used a secular book to speak to me.  I have read the Christian relationship books.  I have read Dr. Phil.  I even read some other intriguing, racy secular books in an effort to rescue and improve my relationship.  I thought I understood men and women pretty well.

But the author truly had a different premise entirely than the other books I have read.  Her main idea is for us woman to become the strong women we need to be who are complete in ourselves.  We don’t need a man to rescue us.  We don’t need a man to complete us.  We are single and loving it.  And when the right man comes along, we will have high expectations and know how we should be treated.  And we will not lower our standards and allow ourselves to be abused and taken advantage of.

What an amazing way to think indeed.  And this author spoke more about God than some  Christian books I read.  I love it when she said, “How can you call yourself ugly if you believe in God?  If you believe He created you, how can call yourself ugly?”   And it wasn’t her first reference to God in the book.

This author, in spite of her colorful past, even recommends the idea of monogamy.  She says she realizes not everyone will be willing to be in that kind of relationship, but she says it is truly the ideal.  Even her concept of what marriage should be like is so much more different than what  I have ever read.

Now this is not a book for the faint of heart or for a prude.  It is also not for a teenager to read.  It would be good for a teenage girl’s mother to read it and teach her daughter the principles.  I would probably say that this book is for early 20’s and up.  You do have to read it with an open mind.  I don’t agree with everything the author says, and indeed she realizes that.

So in conclusion, if you are up for a book that challenges your beliefs about women, men, and dating, this book will do that.  If you are able to look past the language and some of the moralistic attitudes espoused in the book, this is a great read.  And most of all, if you are willing to read a book that will potentially change your life, this book just might do it.  I even understand more completely why I married the man I did after reading this book.  Karrine Steffans is a great writer, and this book was certainly worth my time.

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