Okay, I realize I’m a little behind, but I was on vacation.  So here’s to catching up.  Warning–only read this if you really want to.  I will keep it “PG,” but it will be very honest and extremely personal.

I have had really bad success with men in my life.  I like to say that I have been married, engaged, and in a relationship.  But I am now completely single, and I think I am happier than I ever was with a man.  For whatever reason, I am just not good at picking men.  I know good men exist out there, but they are very hard to find.

The first man I ever dated was my ex-husband.  I was a tender eighteen, and we dated six weeks before getting engaged.  We were then engaged for thirteen months, and I was certain God had provided the man for me.  I was committed to him, and I never dreamed that ten years after our wedding, I would be a divorced, single parent.  For those who might be wondering, he is mentally ill, and that was a major issue between us.

Then I fell in love with my best friend–he didn’t want me.  So without realizing what I was doing, I started dating a guy I met online.  I did it on the “rebound” of my best friend.  I did it  (subconsciously) to make my friend jealous.  I even got engaged.  This guy was so immature, and I woke up before it was too late.  I finally admitted that I was in love with my best friend who didn’t want me.  So I broke up with this second guy in my life.

Then before I realized it, things began happening with my best friend.  He was not a Christian, but I was certain God would save him.  And we began getting physical.  I made sure we never went too far, but in so many ways, we were playing with fire.  But, of course, I wasn’t listening.  Years later, this “friend” has told me that he misses me in bed (even though we never went all the way).  Isn’t that a nice thing to say??

So, all three guys in my life have really only wanted one thing from me (from time to time)–sex!  Evidently the fact that I enjoyed the physical aspect of every relationship was a real turn-on to these guys since women (especially Christian women) don’t seem to enjoy this part of a relationship as much.  In fact, I used to read Christian marriage books and wonder what was wrong with me.  My ex-husband used sex to control me because he knew I enjoyed it.  So he withdrew it at will to try to make me submit to him.  Talk about being sick!!

So, in a nutshell, that has been the story of my love life.  Trust me–I’m through with men.  I think God would have to strike me with lightning to mae me want to try another relationship.  I’m very happy being single!

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