Book synopis:If your idea of foreplay includes candlelight dinner, rose petals and whip cream, you are misguided. We have been focusing only on the physical while we are neglecting the emotional and spiritual needs of our mate. This neglect has lead to dissolving relationships, conflicts in the marriage, and internal struggles. InBefore the Lights Go Out, I outlined eleven keys to enhance foreplay, which will develop the intimacy in your relationship, thus allowing you to form a tighter bond with your mate. For single ladies, it is a guide to help you choose the ideal man for a queen like you because any man won’t do. In other words, what is he bringing to the table besides himself? For married couples, this book will force you to look into introspection: examining yourselves and retrospection; examining your past to see where you went wrong and what you can do going forward to fix it. The key to a long lasting relationship is establishing intimacy, which mean knowing if he/she is “into you”: body, mind and spirit. We will leave the lights on a bit longer to begin the emotional and spiritual journey towards a better you and a better relationship with your mate
I love the philosophy behind this book. The author speaks directly to Christian ladies, and her focus is often on single women (since that is where her heart lies). Most of what she says is Biblically sound, and she is not afraid to say what needs to be said in a very strong fashion.
I enjoy the fact that this book is organized well, and the message does not change no matter where you look within the chapters. She is not afraid to stress the importance of sexual purity. She does not care if she sounds like a prude or an anti-feminist. She will quote Scriptures to back up what she is saying, and she also points out the consequences of sin. I love the fact that she talks to men as well. All too often, we women are told what we must to do so our guys will love us better. Her stance is that men have responsibility, too.
I do have two minor criticisms. There are times that her vernacular becomes a little more difficult to read. I am not sure if the author realizes how she might come across, but I think that her word use sometimes seems more appropriate for public speaking than a book.
My other criticism is still minor but a little more troubling. Some of her theology is a little unusual. It bothered me to read some misinterpretations of Bible passages and apply them to areas where they were never intended. I know that not everyone has the same interpretation of Scriptures, and this is true even amongst theologians. But my problem is that passages that are not typically applied to certain situations. I realize it may be a small issue, but I prefer for Christian authors to check out various sources before stating something as fact. I know this may sound harsh, but I am one who believes in not being dogmatic when it comes to stating things Scripturally that may not be able to be proven 100 percent.
In spite of these criticisms, I would still say this is a refreshing read that can speak to anyone who desires sexual purity and/or a more fulfilling marriage. Being a single mother myself, it was nice to see that I was already doing so much right in this respect! I am glad I am not alone because I sometimes feel I am. Had I read this book before I got married so long ago (and tried to date more recently), I would probably be single to this date!
I was sent a copy of this book in exchange for my honest review. I was not financially compensated, and all opinions are 100 percent mine.
Quiniece Sheppard is the author of The Seven Deadly Sexual Sins, published in April 2009, co-author of an e-book anthology titled Christmas is More than a Myth: There is a Reason for the Season, published as a free e-book in December 2010, author of an e-book titled Walking the Path to Real Love: 12 Steps to Practicing Abstinence and Celibacy, published as a free e-book in January 2011. Ms. Sheppards second book titled Before the Lights Go Out:11 keys to Achieve Real Physical Intimacy was published in March 2011. Ms. Sheppard is founder/CEO of I am the Chase Ministries, LLC: a single womens ministry whose mission is to promote abstinence and celibacy. Ms. Sheppard wants to help every woman define and understand her self-worth and value so she can live out her purpose and destiny. Ms. Sheppard has spoken at several womens conferences, a parent-teen retreat speaking on abstinence, held her own seminar in September 2011 and will be holding her first single womens conference in April 2011. Ms. Sheppard currently resides in Alexandria, VA but frequently travels as a motivational speaker to deliver messages of inspiration, transformation and enlightenment to make a lasting impact to audiences everywhere. Ms. Sheppard speaks at workshops, conferences, seminars, book clubs, churches, youth groups and more. For more information or to book Ms. Sheppard for your next event, visit Quiniece at www.iamthechase.com or email: firstname.lastname@example.org.
Also, check out her Christian book club: http://chasingbooks.com/