You know, I am so glad that I cried a few nights ago and posted on here. I needed that. It purged me so much. Are things any better? No, but I had a fantastic Thanksgiving–with my real family: my mom, Martin, and Martha. If the weather hadn’t been the way it is now, that wouldn’t have happened. We couldn’t leave the house.
My house is temporarily not being foreclosed. I am literally taking it one week at a time. At any time, the house may have to go, but God is letting me keep it for now.
My dad is still difficult, but at least I am not dealing with it alone.
And Martin? Well, if I don’t miss my guess, he was rather tempted to go down the physical road tonight. He and I have gotten to work together the past couple days in the snow–cutting down trees. Sounds silly, doesn’t it? But that has drawn us closer together. And at least I know that he loves me. We have our moments, and I cherish each one–like a typical woman. With God controlling every ounce of my being, I know that I can withstand this no matter how hard it becomes. It is a relief to know that God knows exactly what will happen when. Yes, I have to be ready at a moment’s notice, but I also have to live in the present. I am grateful for dreams. And I am even grateful for the pain. It must mean I love him deeply to know this kind of pain!
For those of you who know our wonderful Lord, please send up a prayer if you can for his salvation and for my family. Pray that God’s ultimate will be worked out. I cannot imagine how hard it would be to say goodbye to Martin again in the spring, but with the help of God, I know I can. I must rely totally on God and follow His leading every moment of every day.
Hope your Thanksgiving was wonderful!